A letter on authentic companionship.

Something I truly love about this job is my ability to curate a clientele based on the connections we create together.

I have had clients doubt my sincerity - I believe this stems from a struggle to understand how something transactional can feel so genuine. They’ll analyze every interaction to see if it feels “real” or if I’m “faking nice”.

I don’t hold myself responsible for how someone else perceives me, but it does begin to feel draining when a heartwarming and genuine interaction is held under a microscope. To try and assuage this anxiety, I have made it a point to only see clients I enjoy spending time with. Obviously, the first date is testing the waters - are we a good fit? Is there chemistry? Do I feel safe with you? Am I drained after, or did I leave feeling full of heart and vibrant?

I put a lot of stock on the first date, and I will not accept a second date if I truly don’t think we’re a good fit. This is partially for me to ensure I enjoy my work and don’t get burnt out. But it’s also for them - I think if given the option, 99% of clients would want their provider to genuinely enjoy spending time with them. So the surefire way to tell if I actually like you is to simply request a second date. If I accept, then we’re golden and I’m looking forward to seeing you. It really is that simple.

And if that’s not enough reassurance for someone and their anxiety is inhibiting their enjoyment of our time together, then I would suggest they take a step back and work through those feelings, as solidifying that self-esteem truly must come from within.

Companionship is a beautiful thing, and providers have the ability to brighten your life and warm your heart. But this can only happen if you are sure of yourself and comfortable with the unique dynamic of provider/client. It is different. There are boundaries and rules that may not exist elsewhere in your life, but they are mutually beneficial. They are designed to create this space for everyone to feel comfortable and to ensure it’s sustainable. If you truly understand and appreciate this unique dynamic, the boundaries should not detract from the connection.

If you can do that, the world is your oyster.