My “Type”
12/12/22
Hello, lovers and friends!
This is my second blog post, and I felt it was fitting to release it before I go on my hiatus. My previous (and first) post focused on expressing gratitude towards my lovers, and it felt good for me to share that.
I should warn you that this may be a bit long-winded. And by that, I mean that I could have summarized everything here in about two paragraphs or so and left it at that, but I’ve decided to ramble a bit as I am wont to do. The enjoyable part about blogging, after all, is that I don’t have to write it unless I want to - and you don’t have to read it unless you want to.
So, for those who are curious about what my “type” is, and what sort of qualities I find most attractive, read on! And for those who could care less, the back button will suffice.
Recently, I was asked a question. It has burrowed into my head and remains there. I’ve answered the question to the person who asked it, but they seemed unsatisfied with my answer. Which is unfortunate, considering it was the complete and honest truth. I knew what they wanted to hear, but I’ve never been proficient at lying. So I’ll pose their question here, and I’ll type out my response; albeit longer and more fleshed out than the one I gave them as we laid together, intertwined and languid.
They asked me what my type was. As in, what sort of person do I find attractive. What do I look for in a potential partner, or in a “favorite” client.
They expected an easy answer based on looks, perhaps something like “tall, dark, and handsome”. Unfortunately, attraction isn’t that simple to me. I don’t have a checklist of physical attributes that I look for in a person, and honestly don’t give much of a thought to someone’s physical appearance as I do other things. I look back on my previous romantic partners, and there is no pattern. Tall. Short. Heavyset. Thin. Blonde. Brunette. Long hair. Short hair. No hair. Beard. No beard. The list of dissimilarities goes on.
So, what is my “type”?
Simply put, I am attracted to people who are open to learning. I appreciate people who accept that there are things that they do not know, and make a conscious effort to continue growing and bettering themselves everyday.
Frankly, not much impresses me more than someone who will admit that they don’t know a thing, and proceed to learn about it with an open mind. It’s a vital skill to have, otherwise there is no growth. And with no growth comes stagnation, and there is hardly worse company than a person who clings to a set of beliefs and assumptions with a steadfast unwillingness to learn.
Ironically, this often happens with intelligent people. The reason seems apparent. Socrates addresses this during the Apology, stating that because one was an expert in one thing, they believed they were an expert in other matters as well, even if that was not their area of expertise. Likely, this comes from getting used to being correct in areas they are well-versed, but it leads to arrogance in most other things. Far too many people are comfortable speaking on a topic they know little about as though they are experts on the subject.
I see so much clutter, miscommunication, and misinformation that could be avoided if people stopped trying to sound like they knew what they were talking about when they didn't. If instead of claiming unchecked facts, they left space for those who are actually knowledgeable in the area. People, in a very general sense, seem to find their own ignorance personally offensive, instead of being humbled by it and seeing the opportunity in newfound knowledge.
There is no shame in not knowing something. There is so much information in the world, one couldn’t possibly be expected to know it all. Or even a sliver of it, if we’re being truthful. My personal goal is to learn at least one new thing every single day. I surpass that by a large margin daily, with or without effort. And yet, there’s so much more to life that I’ll never know. And I find that beautiful.
So, when it comes to attraction, and my “type”, I will say this: My type is someone who understands that the world is a complex place, full of nuance and more information than we could ever process in a lifetime. And yet, they remain open and willing to learn. They are happy to hear new perspectives, and allow new information to shape how they view the world around them. They are realistic of their level of education on a topic, and happy to share what they know with those who are interested.
These sorts of people focus on personal betterment. They strive for growth. These people make the best conversationalists, and frankly there’s nothing more invigorating and alluring to me than someone I can have in depth conversations with.
So, for those reading who are wondering if they are my type, the answer is simple: It has nothing to do with your physical appearance. It has everything to do with how you think, interact with others, and perceive the world.
If you read all of that, thanks for tuning in to my rambling! I have around three other topics rolling around in my brain that will see the light of paper someday soon, although it may be after my hiatus.
Until next time!
Warmly,
Evelyn